When my 40-year-old client, Julia*, sat down in my office, she looked exhausted—mentally, emotionally, and physically. Her coworker had left the company months ago, and in that silent, all-too-familiar way, Julia was expected to take on both roles. No formal conversation. No pay increase. Just more meetings, more responsibility, and more pressure.
She was afraid to say anything.
Not because she lacked awareness that it was unfair, but because deep down, she didn’t believe she was allowed to say no.
“I didn’t want to seem like I wasn’t a team player,” she said.
“I didn’t want to lose my job.”
“I didn’t want to disappoint them.”
When I asked what she did want, she paused. Then came the quiet truth:
“I want someone to see that I’m drowning without me having to say it.”
Julia’s story isn’t rare. It’s the story of so many high-performing, people-pleasing professionals—especially women—who have been taught that being valuable means being needed, not being whole. They internalize a belief early on that advocating for themselves is selfish, or worse, risky.
That belief usually starts in childhood, in environments where asking for help led to rejection, shame, or being told they were “too sensitive” or “making things harder.” Over time, they learn to stay silent and do more—hoping to be rewarded, hoping to be seen.
But workplaces are not families, and burnout isn’t a badge of honor.
Self-Advocacy in Action
When Julia finally approached her boss, we had spent several sessions preparing—not just what she’d say, but how to stay anchored in her sense of self-worth. We practiced the tone, the posture, and the breath. She wasn’t making a demand. She was naming a reality.
“I’ve been covering two roles since Sarah left, and I’m at capacity. I want to continue doing high-quality work, but I can’t sustain this without support or a change in expectations.”
Her boss was surprised—but receptive. They hadn’t realized how much she was carrying. A plan was made to redistribute the workload, and the next hire was fast-tracked.
Julia’s fear of reprisal never came to pass. What did come was a quiet sense of empowerment. She had finally said what needed to be said.
Self-advocacy isn’t entitlement. It’s self-respect in action.
It’s how we protect our energy, our integrity, and our potential.
If you’re silently carrying more than your share, hoping someone will notice—stop waiting.
You deserve to be heard, not just helpful.
You deserve to work with your values, not against your capacity.
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I can help you build the language, the confidence, and the brain-based tools to stop overfunctioning and start leading from your Authentic Self.