Letting Go of Self-Judgment

Self-judgment is a form of internal self-regulation—our brain’s attempt to assess whether we are safe or at risk. While it may seem protective, this habit keeps us in a state of hypervigilance, constantly scanning for what we did wrong or how we might be judged by others.

Over time, this undermines our ability to maintain stable self-esteem. Instead of trusting our inner sense of worth, we become dependent on external validation—looking to others to confirm whether we’re okay.

To shift out of this exhausting cycle, we have to retrain the brain to find safety in self-acceptance, not perfection.

✨ Practice: Calm the Inner Judge

Daily Reset in 2 Minutes:

Sit quietly and bring to mind a recent moment when you judged yourself harshly.
Name the judgment: “I was too much,” “I should have done better,” etc.
Place your hand on your chest and say out loud:
“I see you, judgment. I’m choosing compassion instead.”
Take three deep breaths and repeat:
“I am safe. I am learning. I am human.”

Doing this each day begins to shift your brain from self-surveillance to self-support—one moment of compassion at a time.